haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
