8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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