And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Terrible idea I love it
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
