$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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