yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
