True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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