Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
