So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
