Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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