We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
