The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
