I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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