Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
