Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
