You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
