I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
