if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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