I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
