You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
