'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Found the puke drawer
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
