All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
