I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
