Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
