I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
