i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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