On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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