I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
