i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
