Whats the count minus fat chicks?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
