Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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