I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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