So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
