Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
