I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Bring me that man meat
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
