It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
