on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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