You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
i need to put some appletini on your dick
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
