the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
