what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
