maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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