so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
