**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
