week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
