My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
two words: eviction party
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
