im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
