Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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