Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
