Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
you had me at cake vodka
Found the puke drawer
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
