i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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