i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
