I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
