I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Randomize
