So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
