i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
