your room smells of hookers.
And success
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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